Happy Birthday, Madeline!

Madeline turned 2! She is so fun...unbelievably articulate, unbelievably opinionated, charming, and funny, and (when she wants to be) incredibly sweet. She is a complete mama's girl, much to Jason's dismay. She refers to her brothers as "my Ethan," "my Colin," and collectively "my guys." When we drop her brother off at school she complains "I really need my Ethan." When she sees them again she screams their name, runs up and throws her arms around them. It is so cute. She is very much a girl. She loves pink, baby dolls, and mermaids, especially the Little Mermaid. We kept asking her what she wanted for her cake, and she insisted she wanted a round blue cake. We tried to talk her into letting us put something on it, but she insisted she just wanted it round with blue frosting. Oh, well. Makes it easy for me!

The day of her birthday the kids and I sent to the Museum of Life and Science in Durham. We played with the exhibits, did the dinosaur walk and the butterfly house, saw the animals and rode the train. My Dad's birthday is a few days after Madeline's, so over the weekend (in between their actual birthdays) Mark and LaDonna had us down for dinner to celebrate. Happy birthday, Madeline! We love you!!!

Farewell

My siblings flew in to town Monday night for the funeral. I picked them up at the airport and it was so great to be together with them. Saying good-bye to my mom was really, really hard, but being with my family made it easier. We had a beautiful service for her and then dedicated her grave in Fuquay. The rest of the day was spent quietly with family. The day after we went to lunch at a friend's restaurant (they let us use their private dining room) and hung out at my house some more. I hated to see everyone leave. I also have to say that I couldn't have gotten through the last week of my mom's life and the days that followed without my sister-in-law, LaDonna. She was there for me, physically and emotionally. I couldn't have dressed my mom's body without her there to help me through it. When you go through a major loss, you find out who really cares about you. I've been overwhelmed by the support and love that I've been shown. It really does make a difference.

My mom's only sibling, Glade. We were so glad he was able to make it to the funeral. It was great to see him and his son-in-law, Blaine. My uncle Glade, my brother Bryce, and my other brother's son, Bryce Glade.

My Mom

My mom opted for no more chemo the night before I left for California. It wasn't working and was only making her feel worse. I was so, so worried she was going to pass while I was out of town. I got home Sunday night and spent Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday helping my dad care for her while babysitters or my sister-in-law watched my kids. She passed early Friday morning. My dad was there with her, which was really important to him. It is so hard to have her gone. I miss her so much. I want to pick up the phone 10 times a day and tell her things...little things about my kids that no one else would care about, and big things that I know she would help me through. Learning to live without her is going to be hard, but my faith is strong enough to make me want to try, and to comfort me when I need it.

This picture is from a few years ago...pre-Maddie. My mom adored her grandkids. My heart is broken for them as much as it is for me. I love you, Mom!!!

California: OC

We left SLO and drove back down to LA, stopping quickly in Solvang for some danish cookies. We stopped in LA at the Moores' place, and this was the only picture I took...Madeline getting her toenails painted for the first time. Good thing she has Morgan in her life for things like this.

The next day we went on to Orange County. We stopped at Zoomars Petting Zoo in San Juan Capistrano, which I had heard about from my sisters-in-law. We spent a small fortune, but the kids loved the gem mining, the guinea pigs, the train ride, and the pony ride. We arrived in Oceanside, checked in to the condo we rented with Ann and Randy, dropped Jason off at the gym, and headed to the beach for 30 minutes before we had to run back to pick Jason up. The kids were so happy to be on the beach...finally! The condo we rented was great except it was HOT (with no AC) and LOUD (with a train blowing its horn several times a night as it passed through the kitchen...at least that's what it sounded like).

Thursday we went to Sea World. Ann and Randy joined us with Charlie and Abby. The orca show is so-so since the trainers can't get in the water anymore. Still amazing to watch the orcas, though. I was SO PROUD of Ethan for going on the river raft water ride despite his trepidations. And SO relieved that he LOVED it. We met up with Matt and Kliss and David and Emily and their kids, but left before everyone else because our kids were done. We took them to dinner at Islands and then put them to bed.

I spent some time on the beach again with the kids and Kelli and her kids while Jason was out running. I rarely get one on one time with Kelli...it was great. Also great? Eating at Ruby's on the pier two days in a row. The last day there we celebrated Max's life with his annual beach day. We still miss him so much and are still acutely aware of his absence and the hole it's left in our family. It was nice to celebrate with family and in a way that he would have loved...Lego building contest and Minute to Win It games. We love you, Max!

California: SLO

At the beginning of July we flew to California. The kids were great, although I don't love flying so I was glad when it was over. Madeline did insist on sitting in my lap most of the way. I'm not used to having a kid who wants to sit in my lap. It's both endearing and a little annoying. I did talk her into sitting in the same seat as her brother and watching a movie for a little while.

We landed and drove straight to Todd and Ashley's to attend Ryan's baby blessing. Ryan is gorgeous! It was fun to be there with everyone. Maddie had a complete diaper blowout on the drive over. While Jason and I were dealing with it in the front yard, Colin walked into the house and wandered from person to person saying, "Hi, I'm Colin Harris, and this is my friend Ethan." His uncles called him "Colin Harris" the rest of the trip and often asked him where his friend Ethan was. The next day we caravanned up to San Luis Obispo, stopping in Santa Barbara for lunch and frozen yogurt. The drive was nothing short of torture. Southern California traffic is more than I can handle. Do you get used to it if you live there?

As miserable as the traffic was, it was totally worth the trip to get to Ryan and Leanne's ranch in SLO. It's a complete dream property. There are no words. Madeline and Colin found a leftover Easter egg in the backyard and spent the rest of the evening looking for more (they found two total). We danced in the barn, had a water balloon fight and a game of kickball, partied with a DJ, had a talent show, rode the 4-wheeler, the guys played paintball, and we did fireworks. Jason and Ethan even slept in the barn one night with Toby and Ben and Todd. It was hotter than I expected but so fun to be together with the entire Harris clan (including Bonnie) and Leanne's family. The best part of the entire weekend was Leanne and Ryan announcing they are pregnant with twins. We are SO happy for them. Thanks, Ryan and Leanne, for an unforgettable weekend!